Friday, May 16, 2025

Nine titles that center asexuality

Debbie Urbanski is the author of the novel After World (2023)—which was named a best book of the year by the San Francisco Chronicle, Engadget, the Los Angeles Times tech, Booklist, and Strange Horizons—and Portalmania (2025). Her writing focuses on the intersections of horror, fantasy, science fiction, asexuality, memoir, and/or the planet. Over the past two decades, she's published widely in such places as The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy, The Best American Experimental Writing, The Sun, Granta, Orion, and Junior Great Books.

At Electric Lit Urbanski tagged nine "narratives [that] push against the traditional definitions of love that confine all of us." One title on the list:
Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

This graphic memoir relates Maia’s experience growing up as e (Maia uses e/em/eir pronouns) tries to figure out eir identity: what gender e is, who e’s attracted to, what attraction means to e, how e feels about sex, and what sorts of relationships e wants to have in eir life. One of my favorite passages is when Maia describes the relief of realizing that eir life can reflect who e actually is. “I remember when I first realized I never had to have children. It was like walking out of a narrow alley into a wide open field. ‘I never have to get married.’ ’I never have to date anyone.’ ‘I don’t even have to care about sex.’ These realizations were like gifts that I gave myself.” The book, to me, is often about language—specifically the words we use to describe ourselves—and how language can either constrict or expand the possibilities of identity. Since its publication in 2019, Gender Queer has gone on to become one of the most challenged and most frequently banned books in U.S. public schools.
Read about the other entries on the list.

--Marshal Zeringue